Although I wish for nothing more than a healthy pregnancy; after just having a miscarriage I feel the need to allow myself time to heal before jumping right back into ttc. This blog post is about what I am going to be doing to accomplish my ttc break and how I am going to enjoy and obtain value from it.
First of all I want to talk about my interests and personal goals outside of ttc. My number one desire these days have been to become a mother and after being denied that wish 5 times I have come to conclusion that I can no longer put my life on hold for ttc because I have little control over when I am going to have a baby, nature is in full control and in ttc it is either hit or miss. every cycle brings new hope and opportunity but it is very much like rolling dice but it takes an entire month until you get another chance to roll it again.
I have spent half a year now sitting at home waiting to get a BFP. SIX MONTHS of putting my life on hold for something I have no control over. I decided to stop learning german because I did not see the point since my desire to be a stay at home mom didnt require immediate skill in the department. I gave up on the idea of obtaining education and seeking a profession because in my mind I was to fall pregnant and dedicate all time to my children anyway. After leaving six months empty handed I have decided to continue ttc but also focus on other things and try to obtain other goals that way I dont spend another 1,2,6,12 months totally empty handed again.
I have made a list of things I wish to accomplish during this ttc break and My husband and I have come up with things to look forward too.
~The first project My husband and I have been doing together is we have been getting creative and re decorating our apartment. Its been a fun little project we have been doing together and it is already almost complete.
~The next and probably the most important thing is I am learning German again. The next course starts October 3rd and I am already signed for it. In the mean time I am doing self study at home.
~This isnt so much a project, its more something to look forward too: In September My husband and I are driving to Italy and spending a week at the cinque terre, this WILL also be around the time that we can ttc again, so who knows what could happen. 😀
~ I want to start spending more time with friends.
~ I wish to shed the last 5 pounds I have to lose, by then I will have reach my goal weight.
~I want to look into alternative medical techniques, and continue to educate myself on a holistic approach to medicine and health.
~I wish to seek universities that offer programs where I can study things like nutrition and figure out how I can make myself eligible to get involved in these programs.
All of these things I have put on hold for 6 months and I feel like punching myself for doing so. In september ttc is still on my to do list but I wont let it sneak its way into being the only thing on my to do list ever again.
I also want to give a special thanks to Angela who inspired me to do this blog post and helped me realize what I could do to make my life fuller and more open. Really thank you so much! XOXO